I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
