I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize