I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
