I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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