I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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