I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
