Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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