My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
vagina is talking i cant
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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