If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
