we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
