WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
