is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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