just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
