I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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