There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
