he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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