I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize