Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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