Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think people are normalizing furries
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
