My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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