is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize