Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
