shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
