And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
