Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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