All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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