literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
