You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
