You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
