Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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