So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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