Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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