This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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