we have officially lost it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
