you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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