Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
