Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I AM VODKA MAN
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
