My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
