They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
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i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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