Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think people are normalizing furries
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
