well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
