So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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