around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
