She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
