Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
