Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
