And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
