Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
