SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
