I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
