the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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