My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i now understand why vodka
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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