you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
