not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
