help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
