Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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