So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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