Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
