I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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